I had this acceptance speech written for a while but I made a few tweeks. I think it will work. #LazyGM

Be sure to vote for Fake Darcy as the best Twitter feed in Buffalo!

Photos by Buffalo Observer

Mr. Fake Darcy! How are you today?

I’m great, Joe. Hey bud, you sure are sweating excessively. Are you all right? We can re-schedule, ya know. Holy flop-sweat! This is hilarious. You look like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News!!! Okay, go ahead and ask away but don’t mind my laughter!

Congratulations Darcy!

How does it feel?

First things first, Joe. I heard your most recent podcast and was a little disappointed to hear you say, somewhere around the 32:45 mark, that you were done with me and you had lost faith in me. Correct me if I’m wrong…Might I add that this was on trade deadline day and I had vastly improved my team! Not to be outdone in negativity-palooza, Mr. Stewart might have outflanked you with his pessimism. But I’m over it so let’s get on with this interview. Now, will you please take your hand off my knee?

So, what’s new?

Feels like old times again. All those obnoxious hashtags, like #FireDarcy, #DoSomethingDarcy, #DarcyIsAGirlsName are beginning to crop up throughout my timeline on Twitter again. I thought we were past that stage after Terry took over. It seems that honeymoon is over and the mother-in-law has moved into the spare bedroom and is critiquing my love-making. Popularity was fun while it lasted.

The losses keep piling up at home. No one is more concerned about this than…the fans. Relax.

Boom! Sabres Hockey! Wednesday night’s game has spurred a new craze surrounding the team. We no longer are going to sit back and let people push us around! We are going to be the aggressor in ALL circumstances. We have to change the fundamental fabric of the team and the entire region. Say goodbye to the “City of Good Neighbors” moniker. For now on, it’s BOOM, Sabres Hockey!  You cut someone off in traffic, roll down the window and shout “BOOM! Sabres Hockey!” You feel the need to drop the gloves with the Mailman just shout Boom! Sabres Hockey. I cut ten people in line at Tim Horton’s and told each one explicitly, Boom! Sabres Hockey! That’s how we are going to roll!  No one is going to hand us the Cup. We need to be aggressive and just take it. Boom! Sabres Hockey.

It has been an awful week since the last Mailbag. I knew I was tempting fate by trash talking Danny Briere in the last bag. We lost two games, lost Miller when he got assaulted by the criminal element in Boston, got bashed by our own fans as soft, got a parking ticket and now Demi and Ashton are splitting. Is nothing sacred? I blame Briere for most of the unfortunate occurrences. He is a menace to society. no comments

So, B-Tommy wants to buy the Dodgers? I hope the scouting department is prepared to do their work an hour at a time on library computers. Matt Kemp’s days are numbered.