This seems to be the offseason for press conferences in Buffalo.

By my count, we've had 5 player conferences (Stevie Johnson, Mario Williams, Mark Anderson, Stephon Gilmore and Vince Young), not to mention Buddy Nix and Chan Gailey's multiple cameos. As much as I love the Bills signing players, I can live without those pressers. Cliche, simpleton questions and predictable answers comes to mind. Every time an athlete delivers one of these speeches, I get a Twitter feed of media members and fans telling me how amazingly articulate this or that player is.

Take Vince Young's presser.

I think every reporter who gets paid in Buffalo must have tweeted about being blown away because of how humble he was during it. What the fu#$ was he suppose to say? "I'm Vince Young and I'm awesome! I'm better than Ryan Fitzpatrick! Jeff Fisher never liked me because the owner always took my side. What about me!? What about Raven Vince Young?!I can throw the deep ball and run like hell...Can your Harvard guy do that?"

It amazes me. I'm pretty sure T.O. and Tom Donahoe had amazing opening pressers when they first made their way to 1 Bills Drive.

These athletes know exactly what they are going to be facing when they come through the curtain to take their place at the podium. Like Obama's aids who give him talking points before he does an interview with Anderson Cooper or whoever, the Bills PR and the player's agent are going to tell him exactly what he should say.

"Mention how you have learned so much from past failures! Everyone forgives people for their mistakes! How do you think Robert Downey Jr. or Britney Spears still have careers? Hollywood forgave them for being fu#k ups because they admitted it." This isn't rocket science and even with a Wonderlic score of 6, Vince Young can figure out how to appease the fans and media members with a few quotes.

It's like going on a job interview. It is complete BS. You just keep going on with cliches and how you are the best man for the job and you want to make your coworkers better and thrive to achieve success. If the American workforce went by what they said during those interviews, unemployment rate would be like at 1%. You are just saying what you want your boss to hear and that's what Vince Young, Mario Williams and Ryan Fitzpatrick do for the fans and media. 

The press knows they are going to get bull crap responses that are just cliff notes from the player PR handbook, and yet, they act like these quotes are so telling to the public. Sorry, but they are not. Why? Because fans know exactly what these players are going to say. I knew Vince Young would be humble and you are kidding yourself if you didn't think he would be. Nothing is surprising anymore. Athletes/teams are so scared that the fans/press will sensationalize a story, so they keep their cards close to their vest. Because of the stagnant nature of these quotes, the media tries and tells us what quotes are sooooooo telling in order to make their story sound awesome. Derek Roy said that he doesn't really like when Lindy calls him out, but if you listened to the actual quote, it didn't sound as bad as what a reporter tweeted.

Throw in the art of asking questions during these pressers are also a complete joke. In college, they teach you not to ask a yes or no question. If I did that during a interview for Buffalo State TV, my professor would drop a letter grade off the assignment. Yet, that's all I hear at these things. Just stop with the statement that doesn't even resemble a question. It is just lazy. 

With that, let me give you an idea about what probably goes on before a Buffalo athlete hits the stage to deliver his state of being humble, modest and great at the same time. Also, some reporter tips.

Buffalo PR rule #1: LOVE BUFFALO
Whatever you do, bring it back to WNY! Oh, so they will ask VY about quitting on your teammates? Flip the script. "I quit on my teammates in Tennessee, but had I been living in Buffalo with the waterfront, Elmwood Avenue and networking with the Bills mafia, there's no way in hell I would walk away from you guys." AWWWWWWWW, that's so sweet. He gets Buffalo and loves it! Mario Willliams wasn't just endorsing Buffalo during his intro press conference, he was practically reading a Buffalo visitor's brochure. "Make sure you mention how much you love the food and the people. Mention it twice even! Bring it up on Twitter. Tweet photos of steaks at Buffalo Chophouse!" After awhile, I start thinking that this is really just an act to make us happy. How can someone love a city in 24 hours? I've been in NYC for 10 years and I still have no clue if I like it here or not.

Buffalo PR rule #2: Be funnier than a 2nd grader
Remember all those terrible 80s sitcoms like Full House or Family Matters, and how they had the laugh track that was so over-the-top you knew there was no live studio audience. They could pretty much take the press corps. giggles and use it during a scene where Steve Urkel fell into a wedding cake for the 200th time. HAHAHAHAAHAHAH! Most of these athletes aren't funny at all when addressing the masses, but like an employee who has to laugh at their bosses stupid jokes, the reporters do a splendid job in pretending the athlete is a riot. Paul Hamilton laughing towards Lindy's lame ass jokes comes to mind.

Buffalo PR rule #3: Kiss asses
Great question! Great question! Wow. Super question. Awesome interview! Paul Peck was staking out the airport when Mario Williams' wife came into town. OH.MY.GOD! Get that man an Emmy! Get that man to a Network! Oh, he quit TV? If I ever have to live through day when a media member compliments another media member on how their breath smelled like Bubblicious when they asked Vince Young about being humbled, I'll barf. Alas, I already have the garbage can next to me ready to hurl for the next presser.

Buffalo PR rule #4: Relate to your reporter
Bucky Gleason one time wrote that Bruce Smith owed a lot of his sacks to Phil Hansen. Are you kidding? Sounds like Phil Hansen was a goto guy in the locker room. You think it was by accident that Jerry Sullivan wrote a story about cutting Ryan Fitzpatrick slack because of his injured ribs around February? Of course not. Sully loves Fitz. He's gushed about him like a school boy talks about his first crush. He didn't write a story about Stevie playing with a bad hamstring when he struggled during the middle of the season. Hmmm...maybe cause he was trying to ride him out of town for making fun of Burress? Jerry likes Fitz because both seem like highly intellectual nerds. Bucky relates to anyone who hails from the WNY (See: Kennedy, Tim). The Bulldog loves bluecollar players who are tough. Jeremy White loved JP Losman because the duo planted trees together down Elmwood Avenue. So, he loves anyone who is optimistic about life and the city...like him. See the pattern? Relate to your subject matter and all will be well. I'm not saying they won't go after a guy, because they will. However, when someone else screws up that they don't relate to, you know their venom will be a hell of a lot more lethal. 

As the Stanley Cup Final draws near, so does the NHL Draft and unrestricted free agency. For those who follow the Sabres, the latter two are what they are likely looking forward to most.

The Sabres are entering this offseason after an underwhelming 2011-12 regular season in which the organization failed to live up to the lofty expectations set by those expecting a deep playoff run. In case you hadn’t heard, they didn’t even qualify for the playoffs. Many are expecting the Sabres to make a number of moves to ensure a playoff berth in 2012-13. But what moves will be the ones to push them to the next level?

I've talked to a few fans who seem to think the Sabres need a roster turnover that would rival the 1997 Marlins. I would say that approach is a little extreme. Too many fans are concerned with what the Sabres need to do. They need Dustin Brown, they need Ryan Getzlaf, they need to trade Derek Roy. Well, maybe that last one isn’t too far off. The fact of the matter is that the Sabres aren’t that far off from being a truly competitive hockey club. Obviously the Sabres aren’t just going to cherry pick stars during this offseason. They have a number of shortcomings to address and should be able to do so with a few trades and signings along the way.

First things first, you cannot trade trash for treasure. Again, you cannot trade trash for treasure. That means Derek Roy and a draft pick will not net Dustin Brown. Nor will Drew Stafford and Thomas Vanek bring you Claude Giroux and a prospect. The moves the Sabres will make will be very similar to the trade that brought Cody Hodgson to Buffalo. The Sabres and Canucks each had a need to address and did so by exchanging players who they felt were expendable. If that means Derek Roy or Drew Stafford are on the trading block, so be it. But they likely won’t be in any HFBoards-level blockbusters.

When I look at the teams remaining in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, I see plenty of similarities between the Sabres and those teams. Well, all except the Coyotes; they’re of a different mold. However, the other three share a number of traits with the Sabres.

Each team has two solid lines capable of scoring, they have a deep defensive corps and the play of their all-world goaltender usually decides the team’s fate. In addition, each team’s success is predicated on playing a sound defensive game – except, maybe, the aggressive style of the Devils. However, the Sabres are on the golf course while the others are vying for the Stanley Cup.

So where is the difference between the teams which are still alive and the Sabres? When I look at the Buffalo roster, I say consistency, killer instinct and leadership. I have been watching virtually the same Sabres team since 2007-08 with very little variance in the roster make-up or results. Obviously it is time to re-think the leadership and core within the locker room.

However, what should be understood is that simply compiling the most talented players will not necessarily get the job done. I think the Rangers are a perfect example of this. After years of attempting to buy championships, they have compiled a truly complete roster. They have the high-end talent necessary to succeed with players like Gaborik and Richards; they also have very effective role players like Mike Rupp, Brian Boyle and Brandon Prust (a pending UFA).

Now, third and fourth line players are a dime a dozen. However, when you can find the ones who have the presence and veteran attitude like Mike Rupp, it can go a long way. I like to reference what Mike Grier did for Thomas Vanek as a perfect example of this. Taking that into consideration, do the Sabres have the right kind of leaders in their room? I have to say no.

Ryan Miller has terrific leadership qualities and an obvious desire to succeed, but his ability to influence those on the bench is negligible. Popular opinion would point to Derek Roy and Drew Stafford as better leaders for a bar crawl than a hockey team, but that is more hearsay than anything else. Still, I don’t know if that pair and Jason Pominville have the type of intangibles that could push the team to the next level.

There are a few players left in the Conference Finals who I think would help bring some accountability to the Sabres roster. Keep in mind that I am not taking into consideration Buffalo’s sticky salary cap situation with these four. Also, there is the obvious fact that they’ll likely be retained by their current club. Zach Parise and Brandon Prust are particularly intriguing to me as pending UFAs. Meanwhile, Dustin Brown has single-handedly bunked any rumors swirling about his trade availability with his recent play and Shane Doan, while a UFA, will never leave Phoenix.

The reason I note those four players is because I see them as the type of player the Sabres could use. They’re not the big, scoring center so many fans are clamoring for. Some are more skilled than others, but each would likely bring a set of intangibles the Sabres are lacking.

I also feel that the Sabres don’t need to get those players in particular. It is about finding that type of player. When I look at Buffalo’s bottom six, I think Brandon Prust brings a little more jam and accountability than players like Matt Ellis or even Pat Kaleta (at times). Even if Prust isn’t available, the key should be to inject that attitude into the roster.

As the summer is set to begin, there will be a lot of talk about specific players that the Sabres should be chasing. Bear in mind that Buffalo will need to work around the salary cap before being able to chase any big-name free agents. One other thing to keep in mind, it shouldn’t be about a specific name but finding the right fit.

After all, it seems as if big scorers are NOT guaranteed to succeed under Buffalo’s current system.

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I'd love to go back there.

To be able to enter a room and share my knowledge about what you are about to embark on. None of that crap about how you are going to make it if you work hard and treat people well. Sure, anyone can get far with that mindset, but at the end of the day, people who don't work well, especially with others, can make it to the top as well. They didn't name the show "My Big Beautiful, Nice, Astute Boss" did they? Every fighter has a plan until they get hit and that pretty much goes for college students.

You think you know, but you have no fricken idea.

I'd tell them that the real world sucks. No. That's too harsh and narrow-minded because its coming from someone who's bitter.

How about this?

The real world is a competitive ass-kissing place in which you will see and hear things that will make you turn around and wish you faced the problems of how many beers you can drink without being too impaired to drive after a frat party. There aren't many nice guys or people who are looking out for your best interest. You will be alone and you will lay there in bed contemplating, "What the hell did I spend almost 25,000 bucks on school for?"

This is hell...and I wish I could walk into a Buffalo State classroom to warn you all of this.

I've been doing TV for 10 years and I'd like to tell you that I've made it... but really, I still feel like some tourist in France who only knows how to order a croissant and a glass of wine. Some days I'm happy about this road I've traveled while other days I wish I would have just stayed at my parents' restaurant and flipped pizza dough.

I remember being at Buff State and hearing all the professors tell us that we were going to embark on this happy life of broadcasting. They made it sound so easy. They talked about how you had to do all these extracurricular activities. "Help our college TV Station! Make our radio station sound professional! It will help you in the end! Bosses will love how you were the sports director and called Bengals games!"

In the end, no one in NYC gave a crap what I did in college. School was out and so was what I did there.

So now that I have my little rant out of the way, let me give you guys some practical advice about not giving up...because I did. 

Since I was around 10-years-old, I wanted to be a sportscaster. As horrible as it sounds now because his schtick is so old and repetitive, I idolized Chris Berman. Yes, maybe it had to with his Buffalo love, but I really thought he was a funny guy at the age of 10. I just know that in some way, I wanted to do sports on TV. George Michael's Sports Machine? How about In the Sports Zone with Joe Pinzone!? 

College was suppose to be the place where I'd get my start in learning basic TV presentation. I'd get to do standups, voiceovers, anchor the sportscast on the campus station and all that fun stuff that the professionals seem to make look so easy. Alas, it wasn't easy at all. During my junior/senior year, I did all that stuff and I wasn't really good at it. I just couldn't be a cookie-cutter anchor guy. I wanted to be like a Berman. I wanted to spin the news in my bombastic way because that's who I am. I'm Joe from Buffalo, a guy who spits out incoherent sentences but can nail a bunch of one-liners about sports at any given time. Someone who speaks from the heart and doesn't sound like some sort of robot. Alas, that way doesn't work on TV unless you make Around the Horn or First Take. I needed to be well-spoken and vanilla. I tried being a corporate suit who would just blend in with the other Ken dolls out there, but I was defective.

Could I have changed? Yes, but there was one thing I couldn't understand, and that was the concept of getting better. I wanted to be great right out of the gate, but I wasn't. I was my own worse enemy. 

I melted down during my 2nd-to-last semester while I was taking 18 credit hours and doing all this extracurricular stuff. I should have been out trying to bang co-eds, but instead I was trying to bang out the perfect voiceover, one that sounded like John Murphy. I just sounded like someone who was reading from a sheet of a paper. A bunch of words that had no meaning because it wasn't how I normally talk.

The last straw was when I burned out trying to record a voiceover for a Buffalo State basketball piece and I hated everything about the way it sounded. My voice sounded nasally, the words didn't make sense, and I was about as natural as a hot dog. I raced out out of the broadcasting center at Buff State at 11pm angry and pissed off at the world. I then crashed my mom's car on Elmwood Avenue because I missed the red light while yelling at myself for not sounding like a natural.

At that point, I gave up. 

My contingency plan was set in motion. I knew people in NYC who worked at MTV and being behind the scenes seemed like an easier road to travel. I kind of dug MTV during that time and they actually had music then. Why not try that? For my last semester, I had an easier schedule and pretty much knew that sports wasn't going to be my play anymore.

Fast-forward 10 years later and I wish I would have stuck with it.

I'm not so sure anchoring or reporting would have been my forte, but I should have given it more time when I left college. Now I'm just working in reality TV and frankly, it wasn't what I dreamed about doing when I was younger. I kind of fell into it and if I want to live in NYC, I was going to have to keep working in it to pay for an overpriced 600-square foot apartment. I'd give anything to try and get back into the sports race, but it is too late for me. I've tried and I will keep on trying, but not many folks are going to hire a 32-year-old with no experience in sports production.

However, like Craig Rivet, I can take to the minors to live out a portion of my dream. I think one of the main reasons why I keep blogging about Buffalo sports in May is because talking about it was what I genuinely wanted to do when I was younger. What makes this site so great for me is that I don't have to play the cookie cutter-reporter with Aqua Net in my hair who laughs at Mary Alice Demler's stupid-ass jokes when she tosses it to sports. I can do whatever I want and in a way, I wouldn't have it any other way. Even still...I regret not working at it longer when I was leaving college.

So college graduates, my message to you is simple: Don't let your dreams be dreams.

Even if you wake up one day and realize your dream is becoming a nightmare because you can't find work or your entry level job pays you 8 bucks an hour, I believe the cream will always rise to the top if you work hard at it. Just get that foot in the door and be endearing to everyone around you. Don't settle for anything less than what you dreamed of when you are facing some adversity. Just look at adversity as your friend and how it will make you stronger. If you believe in yourself then fight for it cause no one else is going to do it for you. The strangers you will meet are just friends who you just haven't met yet.

Yes, there are still haters out there who will throw boulders at you when you are trying to climb the mountain, but hard work will pay off in the end. Just learn from your mistakes and don't give up. If there's one thing you have on me, it is time.  There is time for you to grow up and if you believe in yourself, you can accomplish anything.

Your class is dismissed, but the learning will never end.

I had this acceptance speech written for a while but I made a few tweeks. I think it will work. #LazyGM

First and foremost, I’d like to say I never actually thought I’d win the Stanley Cup, GM of the Year, Artvoice Best Twitter Feed Award.  So many people have helped us me along the way in the organization on Twitter I feel I should acknowledge some of them.

@TopShelfCookies

@MinkaHunter

@JustPlainT

@ScottyMCSS

@FakeJimLorentz

@AngryLindy

@Aimelena

@LeopoldsIpod (no extension I’ll think about it)

@Evil_Shero

Special thanks @LindyRuffsTie

And so many more…

I’d like to give a special thanks to Tom Golisano and Larry Quinn Terry Pegula and Ted Black for keeping the restraints, allowing me to not let money get in the way, giving me money to watch the hockey to live Tweet, among other responsibilities.

I’d like to thank Joe (@JoeBuffaloWins) for badgering me and Matty Stewart (@matthew1stewart) for putting him in his place.

I’d like to thank Mike Harrington (@BNHarrington) for all his support taking so many bullets intended for me from the fans.

I’d like to thank guys like Bernier, Moore, Corkum, Torres, Milan Bartovic, Michael Zigomanis, Steve Reinprecht, Jeff Jillson, for your contributions to the championship, backlash, for being held against me by the Basement Brigade.

I need to thank Chris Drury and Danny Briere for making me look like a genius the most hated man in Buffalo.

Seriously, thank you all who voted for the feed. We have created quite the nice little Twitter community in Buffalo. Go Sabres.

Vince Young is your backup QB.

Will there be a QB controversy? Are we just trying to stir the pot because that's what Buffalo fans do? Do we like this signing? Time will tell...but we can do some research here about Vince Young's time in Tennessee. We are joined by the boys over at Total Titans to help dissect what went wrong with VY in Tennessee. Yes, doing a Q&A about the backup QB is probably overkill, but I'm curious to find out what all VY's problems were.

1) What are his strengths and weaknesses?

Keep in mind it's been close to 18 months since VY took a snap at quarterback for the Titans. I saw a little bit of his play in Philly last year, but not enough to tell if he's fundamentally changed as a passer. VY at his best (he was fairly effected the first half of 2010, before Kenny Britt was lost to injury) was an above-average deep ball thrower and below-average passer on short and intermediate throws thanks to poor timing and what looked like very spotty accuracy in terms of both straight completion percentage and the sort of precise accuracy that allows for yards after catch. The Titans then were a very low-volume passing offense, as he rarely attempted more than 25 throws a game. While he had some success with it as a rookie and was great at it in college, VY has not been a very effective rusher in the NFL. Hip injuries in 2007 may have had something to do with that. He was also fumble-prone and took a lot of sacks for a lot of his career, though that was something he seemed to get better at.

2) What happened to Young and Fisher?

A lot.

Philosophically it was a bad fit. Fisher likes a controlled passing game with a quarterback who doesn't make a lot of mistakes and is able to reliably hit open receivers. Young even when he improved made too many mistakes and missed open receivers. Beyond that fundamental philosophical problem, Fisher believed that the quarterback of the team had to be absolutely reliable, while VY considered quitting football after a rookie season in which he made the Pro Bowl and didn't seem to improve from his first to second seasons. Attendance at meetings was also reportedly an issue at times.

3) How did he split the locker room?

I'm not sure how much he really split the locker room. If he did, it was in 2010 and some faction just thought Kerry Collins sucked so much VY's transgressions should be overlooked. Given what a lot of teammates seem to care about is their ability to rely on a player to do his job day in and day out, I'm not sure a majority of the team was really behind VY.

4) What happened with the AWOL stuff?

I don't recall ever seeing a good explanation for that. I think the best way to describe is VY had an extreme crisis of confidence after that game (Week 1 2008 against the Jaguars), where the Jaguars players apparently taunted him on the field for being a crybaby. I think the post I wrote at the time (http://www.totaltitans.com/2008-articles/september/on-vince-young.html) holds up relatively well.

5) Do you think he can be a starting QB in the NFL?

Does VY possess the physical potential to be a decent starting quarterback in the NFL? Used the right way, which I think Gailey could do, he can be a useful player.
The biggest question about him is the mental side of the game. Does he have the discipline and professionalism to hone his craft, improve his mechanics, timing, and accuracy, study defenses, and accept his role on the team, whether it's as starting quarterback, backup, or gadget #3 QB? There are very legitimate reasons from VY's past to think the answer to those questions is something other than "yes," but I can't tell you what the answer now is.

You think some Sabres fans can't get over Daniel Briere?

Meet the Bills version of Danny Boy...Bill Polian.

For almost 20 years, you couldn't go far away from the pulse of Bills fans without hearing them wish for Bill Polian to return. Polian resembled some sort of prodigal son who was exiled by King Ralph (Wilson) when things seemed to be at their finest for the franchise. I remember when he was canned in 1993, I really didn't have the words to describe it. It was like...HUH? WHY? Rumors from Ralph's daughter to Polian's temper were reasons for the deterioration of the relationship.

Some fans have never been able to get over it as they have dreamed that he would one day come back with an army of new players to take back the kingdom. Well, fans are getting their wish...

kind of.

Polian is returning to Buffalo to become the 28th member of the Bills' Wall of Fame. How fitting when you consider that he was the main architect for building those walls during the late 80s/early 90's.

Like an employer who seems to want to hire an employee who resembles them, Buffalo fans want their athletes to be a mirror image of themselves. Jim Kelly was the city's perfect QB with his blue collar attitude and fiery demeanor. Hollywood couldn't devise a better screenplay for a Buffalo athlete. You could probably say the same thing about Polian.

He was our Buffalo GM.

Yes, when building your all-time blue collar Buffalo team, as much as it pains me to say it (Sarcasm), Dary Regier or John Muckler aren't making the list. Sure, being the architect of Super Bowl teams will help surge your popularity, but I think what fans loved about Polian was his attitude. He didn't seem like your corporate GM with a suit and tie that we see throughout the NFL.

This was a guy who wore his emotions on his sleeve with his fiery Irish temper and his "Not taking sh#$" attitude. He famously told the fans and media to "get out of town" if they didn't want to back Jim Kelly during the 1989 season. He never found a microphone he didn't like with voicing his opinions, which was probably the main reason why he had his own TV show, The Bill Polian Press Conference (Loved the intro music).

If you've read some Bills books in the past, you'll hear the story about how heated negotiations got between Jim Kelly's agent and Polian in 1986:

Polian and the agent for Jim Kelly were in a room hammering out details for Kelly's contract. The agent pushed Polian to give Kelly more money due to what the agent believed was a horrible offensive line that could get Kelly injured. Polian tired of the bashing of a line he had constructed. Polian interrupted the agent and sprung into a three-point stance. He challenged the agent to do the same. C'mon, show me, Polian said. Show me how much you really know about line play. The agent backed down.

Um, yeah. I don't think you can get away with that this day and age in a corporate office. Seriously, I love that story. I can picture Polian getting red/purple in the face with anger.

You always hear the term "Buffalo Guy" thrown around a lot in WNY. JP Losman was a "Buffalo Guy", so was Donte Whitner. It was probably all BS and just fans/media members trying to reach when describing an athlete. I can say unequivocally that Polian was a "Buffalo Guy." Like us, he didn't like criticism and when he heard it, he'd fight you for it. He'd even get into a three-point stance to prove it. Sure, he made his share of mistakes, but he also learned from them. More importantly, he loved us and if you love WNY, you'll never go wrong in this town.  He would never shy away with talking about how much he loved being in Buffalo and how much the team and fans meant to him.

You never hear him talking about the Carolina fans, do you?

 This news was a couple weeks in the making. Having opted against taking a serviceable QB in the draft, and having the likes of Tyler "Heads Up!" Thigpen as the presumptive #2 QB on the depth chart, I guess we shouldn't be all that surprised that Vince Young got signed today. On paper, there is plenty to offset the absurdity of this signing and to, at least arguably, keep Bills fans satisfied that Buddy Nix hasn't gone completely crazy. People I respect on Twitter (there are at least five of you) say that there's nothing to dislike about this deal, which I suppose is true from the "Thigpen is a weenie, Young is at worst an upgrade and we're probably only going to win if Fitz stays healthy anyway" perspective.

But, if you want to argue that Vince "adds a new dynamic to this offense" or that "this team can win with Young under center," then please, shut the fu$# right up. This is the same guy that got benched in favor of Rusty Smith in 2010 despite a decent record and good passer rating of 98.6. And he's the same guy that, when called upon to fill in for renowned puppy killer Mike Vick last year, was as inconsistent as ever - beating the Giants on Sunday night football with a 2 TD, 3 INT day, torching the Pats for over 400 yards (in a loss) the next week, throwing four picks the next against the Seahawks. Oh, and if he ever does start for the Bills, he'd be the guy taking over a pretty complicated, fast-thinking offense while also being the guy who scored sixteen out a possible fifty points on the Wonderlic test. Athletic prowess aside, I'm guessing he won't be an easy transition from Fitz.

Forgive me if I don't expect the team to rally around him should he be given an opportunity to play.

Maybe I'm wrong on this. And if Fitz does go down with a mid-season injury, God I hope I am. In the end, to think that there's any way to predict Young's impact on the field is a fool's errand. The guy has tremendous upside and tremendous downside at the same time, and there's simply been no way to know which version of Vince Young you're going to get week to week.

And that doesn't even take into account the X-Factor psychological issues that appear to make him a moment or two away from Crazy Town.

"The City of Buffalo needs more chronically depressed athletes with large hand gun collections. Monday mornings should be exciting!" - Scizz, via text, three minutes ago.

Real Juice. Drink it up. Not that I think it's neceaarily appropriate to be overly flippant about an athlete's fragile emotional state. Funny, sure, but not appropriate.

Where does this leave the Bills? Again, fu#$ if I know. I'll take a shred of solace in the fact that, until now, none of Buddy's offseason moves have left me scratching my head for too long, so I won't sweat this one too much. Ultimately, though, this is a move that could put some strain on a locker room full of "high character guys" that may not mesh so well with the baggage that VY brings with him.

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Matthew "Don't ever call me by my last name first" Stewart and Joe "I don't listen to anyone but myself" Pinzone are back for Talkamania XII! Our special guest is Double Z, Zachary Zielonka from Die by the Blade.

Talkamania XII is packed with action, adventure and thrills. Here are topics:

• Fred Jackson signing
• Taxes going into stadiums
• Sabres vs. Bills excitement
• NHL Playoffs
• NBA Playoffs
• Concussions
• ESPN
• Patrick Kane may need help

When the news broke that the Bills were going to have a press conference this past Monday, the majority of Twitter assumed that it would be for the announcement of Fred Jackson's contract extension....and they were right. There was also some chatter that it could be the announcement for Ralph Wilson Stadium improvement plans, which got me thinking...

What stadium improvements would I do?

There's already been speculation on what this edition of Extreme Stadium makeover will consist of...I guess they are going to widen/push out the gates to the stadium and then change the press box into a bunch of suites? Eh...Boring!!

The common man dismisses these improvements as nothing more than an attempt to appease the rich Cellino and Barnes crew of Buffalo, NY. I know a majority of Buffalo fans want the stadium experience to stay the same. They want to be able to eat chili out of a helmet or carve a hanging rack of lamb/boar from a tree. Shots out of bowling balls and bacon off the carburetor of Pinto Kenny's Pinto seems to by the meal of choice. All of that is fun and dandy, but really, don't you kind of get sick doing that every single Sunday?

OK..Don't answer that.

I want options. I love steak, but I can't have steak everyday because I'll get bored of it. That's kind of how I feel about tailgating. It is great 1-3 times a year for Bills games, but after awhile, I'd just rather be served food from a kitchen than Pinto Kenny's hood. This day and age in the NFL it is all about options when you goto a stadium. I know Ralph Wilson had the money quote about how stadiums are nowadays:

"Some of these places, to me, it's goofy. They have all these fancy restaurants inside. People come to the football game to see the game, not to have a delicious dinner. ... We want just enough money to stay competitive."

I'm sure a number of Buffalo fans felt the same way, but there are probably some who want to enjoy a fancy restaurant at their disposal during games or want to view some nostalgia that doesn't involve carrying a BBQ grill out of the Mystery Machine. I guess what I'm saying is give me some options for my game day experience that don't involve sitting on lawn chairs next to a trunk of a car.

Here are a few suggestions:

HOF/Restaurant
Death, taxes, sports and consumption of 10,000 calories daily. Yeah, that's about the best way to describe what every Buffalonian will go through in their life. WNY loves to eat and watch football. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that we were in like the top 15 for fattest people in the universe. OK, it was the country but you get the point. To this day, I don't get why the Sabres or Bills haven't tried teaming up to make some sort of goofy HOF restaurant. Just throw in a bunch of memorabilia with Hooter Girls and some deep fried pickles together. Boom! Man vs. Food will be there in two shakes of a strawberry milkshake. I say have a restaurant attached to Ralph Wilson Stadium and serve food before and after the game. Have a mini HOF in it where people can walk around and view Jim Kelly's jersey or try on Bruce Smith's shoe. My vision is WWE NY meets Jim Kelly's sports bar...without the drunken player rumors.

Standing room only
I remember being a kid and walking through the Orange section of The Aud to notice that there was a special VIP section surrounding the bowl. VIP standing for very inexpensive people or standing seats. I think Ralph Wilson stadium should have a section devoted to that and I'm down with copying what the Pats have with that bridge that goes across from the light tower to a concourse. We can make the bridge resemble something like The Peace Bridge. Hell, since we are going on year 20 of trying to build a new one, we may as well create a small miniature one. Also, I'm pretty much aware that some knucklehead in Zubaz would try to jump off the bridge and land on Patriot fans, but since we embrace stupidity during games, let's just push the envelope.

Food Court
Besides a truckload of Booze and chicken wings being available for a modest sum, another reason why I think tailgating is popular at the Ralph has to do with the food inside the stadium. To put it mildly, the concession stands suck ass. Terrible. I think the St. Leo's cafeteria in Amherst had better government cheese pizza than what they have at the stadium. Anyways, I say build a food court area. Pretty much copy what they have at Citi Field. Hell, have my peace bridge connected to the concourse. Give me options! Sushi, Chicken fried Steak, Duff wings, La Nova Pizza and whatever else can go in my fat belly.

Get me another TV
"Nobody has two television sets in 1955." (Back to the Future) Screw you Grandma McFly! This ain't 1955 and everyone can have two television sets, including RWS. Place a jumbo tron at the opposite end zone. Those jumbo trons run about 10-million bucks and if these stadium improvements are in the neighborhood of 200-million, what the hell is another 10 million? Just hook it up. 

Bills Monument Park
Pretty much just look at what the Yankees have and copy that. Nostalgia plays well with sports fans, especially in Buffalo. A small hall of fame like decor like they have at First Niagara would be something to look at, but I want bigger! Bronze statues or plaques displayed on a wall inside the stadium. Hell, you have the Wall of Fame and really, it looks as if a caveman decorated it.

Just blow the damn thing up
Alright, this will never happen, but what the hell. Let's build that downtown dream stadium. Yes, the one on the waterfront that we can all walk to after fishing on Lake Erie or enjoying a burger at Pearl Street. It would be awesome. I can already picture the aerial view of the stadium on Sundays from the Goodyear Blimp. It would be epic and it would even possibly lead to a Super Bowl. Alas, it won't happen. As I've written before, a new stadium would cost something like 700-800 million dollars and if that were to go down, the Bills would raise ticket prices to a whole new level in order to recoup the debt they would automatically get for building the stadium. They would also charge fans for PSLs which would probably range in the thousands easily. Not to mention, they would have so many new luxury suites that the team could be left out in the cold while trying to fill them up, especially with the prices they would charge (See: NY/Dallas prices). World peace would be an easier dream to accomplish than this. 

Quick hits:

• Cup Holders in the seats
• More bathrooms with TVs in them (Yes, drunks will so try and steal the flat screens)
• Marching Band
• Get a new sound system
• Locker room tours

Scene: NYC Sports Bar in 2007

Me: Who the hell was that?

Some Drunk: That's Fred Jackson.

Me: Kirby Jackson?

Some Drunk: No, Fred Jackson from Coe College.

Me: Where the hell is Coe College?

Some Drunk: I don't know, but he just zipped past London Fletcher for a 40-yard catch and run.

That was my first introduction to Fred Jackson. He took a pass over the middle and as Fletcher seemed to have a beat on him, Freddy put it into 2nd gear and a lunging Fletcher couldn't trip up the Coe College product who raced for 40-yards.

But really, who cared?

Here's a no-named player who was filling in for an injured Marshawn Lynch on one of Dick Jauron's famous 7-9 teams...Whatever. A guy who seemed to be gaining his 15-minutes of fame in Buffalo like so many other athletes. Just 2007's version of Derrick Holmes and Tim Tindale. 15 minutes became an hour in 2008. That hour grew into a movie a few year later. Now the movie is probably the Bills version of a Oscar Winning trilogy.

Fred Jackson is now one of the highest paid running backs in team history. I'm pretty sure none of us at the bar would have thunk it in 2007.

We all know about cliches/analogies by now about why Fred is special. He's the classic underdog who battled his way to the NFL after playing at some college and Arena football team that I probably couldn't find on a map. He's Buffalo in the way that everyone has told him about 100 times before that he wasn't fast enough or good enough to be someone. That's why we love/relate to him. In Buffalo, you don't just play for the football team, you play for the people. We compare our everyday life of being a Buffalonian to how a player performs or acts. We look at their back story and try to find any sort of correlation with our own feelings. Flaws and all.

There's only one problem with Fred...he doesn't have any flaws. He's the best pound for pound player on the team.

The only time Fred wasn't good enough was when he played as the second fiddle to Marshawn Lynch and CJ Spiller. It wasn't because he stunk, it was because he was told he wasn't good enough. He didn't sulk, did he? Why would he? He's been 2nd fiddle throughout his football career at so many points. Just another roadblock that all of us have encountered before. How many times have we heard we didn't measure up? Friends, co-workers, co-writers, Tom Brady, out of towners and dates have all told us we weren't good enough, but in the end, f$#k them! We are good enough and so is Fred Jackson.

The extension was more than just money to Fred, it was the  grabbing of the brass ring that he dreamed about getting when he was living in a motel 6 at whatever Arena Team city he was playing for.  All the moving around and just hoping that he'd be discovered like some 21 year old actor in the Valley who was hanging outside of agencies and hoping that Ari Gold would give him his 15 minutes of fame. It wasn't Ari, but Marv Levy had the golden signing of his GM term and Freddy got his 15 minutes and hopefully, we'll be watching a kick ass sequel come 2012.